Fin for the Decade.

Very
Very
Simple
List
Today

VIDEOS THAT I HAVE UNNECESSARILY OVER-SENT 2009 in NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1) Guttersnipe from "Taboo"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FgT_4LBzIo&NR=1
2) Christian Side Hug
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Oj0-splZw&feature=related
3) Muppets "Danny Boy"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU
4) "You are being Shagged by a Rare Parrot"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T1vfsHYiKY
5) Rugby Hula
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cle20lQg0Qs&feature=related
6) PicnicFace- Liberty 45
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdbZOD_KTJE
7) Robogeisha Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-gGes6qig
8) Random Mitch Hedburg Sketch from the 90s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC5fYlFpxmo&feature=related
9) The Monty Python Sheep Sketch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkw2DdoskPY
And of course
10) Sames and Opposites by Demetri Martin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKLSgBSWwxQ





Why?
I don't know.
Happy New Year, may it be a damn sight better than the last.

For Real, I am getting darned tired of these sporadic posts

Apologies, one and all, for Wednesday being delayed to Friday. I blame the holiday season.


This week's list is a set of my New Year's Resolutions, put into standard military coding to make them seem less pathetic. Brownie points to anyone who can guess what the originals are.
Double brownie points to anyone who posts their own


1’) Operation: Abort Food Baby.
2’) Operation: YELL
3’) Operation: Party it up in this bitch.
4’) Operation: Potty Mouth
5’) Operation: tick tick BOOM
6’) Operation: Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
7’) Operation: Group Hug
8’) Operation: Drop Everything and Read
9’) Operation: Grocery Money
10’) Operation: OMG
11’) Operation: It’s Okay, Pluto, I’m Not a Planet Either.

Due to the Snow Day, Wednesday was postponed until Monday

As the semester and 2009 draw to a close, we'd like to take a more childish spin on the list.


Things to do on a snowy day, provided you don't have a metaphysics final or a job with the town of Hempstead

*Obnoxious snowball fight
*Ice skating
* Fall to the ground dramatically, pretending to have a heart attack and then making a snow angel
* Bake
* Cook
* Drink
* Curl up on the couch with a good book
* Curl up on the couch with a good bookie?
* Uno
*Cocoa
* Catch up on a favorite TV program
* Catch up on CSPAN
* Order free samples of Vagisil addressed to all your male friends' mailboxes
* Condom balloon animals
*Shadow puppets
* Paper snowflakes



Please feel free to add :-)

LAST WEDNESDAY (for the semester... technically)

Hey kids

In honor of the last week of classes, this week's list is something everyone loves-- Shakespearean dirty jokes and insults!

(If you don't get why these are funny, let me know, I'll explain with gusto :-P )

By my life, this is my lady’s hand these be her very C’s, her U’s and her T’s and thus makes she her great P’s. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.- 12th Night II, ix

Well said: that was laid on with a trowel.- As You Like It I,ii
I do desire we may be better strangers.- As You Like It III, ii
The horn, the horn, the lusty horn,
Is not a thing to laugh to scorn.- As you like It IV, ii

How bravely thou becom'st thy bed, fresh lily.- Cymbeline II, ii

I know a trick worth two of that.- Henry IV- 1, II, i
I’ll tickle your catastrophe.- Henry IV-2, II,i

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.- Henry V, II, iv
And sheath'd their swords for lack of argument.- Henry V, III,i

The smallest worm will turn, being trodden on.- Henry VI, II,ii

So may he rest; his faults lie gently on him!- Henry VIII, IV,ii

Nothing will come of nothing: speak again.- King Lear I,i

Infirm of purpose!
Give me the daggers. The sleeping and the dead
Are but as pictures. 'Tis the eye of childhood
That fears a painted devil. - Macbeth II,i

Masters, spread yourselves.- Midsummer Night's Dream I,ii
Nay, faith, let me not play a woman; I have a beard coming- Midsummer Night's Dream I,ii
A lion among ladies, is a most dreadful thing.- Midsummer Night's Dream III,i

He is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured.- Much Ado About Nothing I,i

I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer.- Much Ado About Nothing I,i
I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?- Much Ado About Nothing IV,i

Your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.- Othello I,i
Villain, be sure thou prove my love a whore,- Othello III,iii

Was ever woman in this humour woo'd?
Was ever woman in this humour won?
I'll have her; — but I will not keep her long.- Richard III, I,ii

I do bite my thumb, sir- Romeo & Juliet I,i

If love be rough with you, be rough with love;
Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down- Romeo & Juliet I, iv

THE ENTIRETY OF THE TAMING OF THE SHREW, ACT II

Villian, I have done thy mother- Titus Andronicus IV,ii



AND OF COURSE

HAMLET
Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
OPHELIA
No, my lord.
HAMLET
I mean, my head upon your lap?
OPHELIA
Ay, my lord.
HAMLET
Do you think I meant country matters?
OPHELIA
I think nothing, my lord.
HAMLET
That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.
OPHELIA
What is, my lord?
HAMLET
Nothing.

Damn Jelly Beans....

That had nothing to do with this week's list.

Recently, one of our agents had a life-changing experience involving everyone's favorite part of speech, gerunds.

So, here are our top ten favorite gerunds, in no particular order.

1) Sexing
2) Eating
3) Laughing
4) Sneezing
5) Spelunking
6) Exacerbating
7) Joking
8) Watching/ Viewing
9) Observing
10) Canada Attacking