This week, slippers, I am in a bit of a Pollyanna mood. Do not dismay, it probably won't last. But for now, I am disgustingly, stomach-churningly optimistic.
So, things that are awesome.
1) Getting an A+ on a test you thought you failed.
2) Fresh cups of coffee
3) Pay cheques
4) Really good shows/ movies
5) Falling asleep talking to your best friend
6) Getting complimented/ constructively criticized about your writing.
7) Realizing you've essentially already written the paper your professor has just assigned in another class
8) Really weird dreams that make you giggle when you see that person the next day
9) Waking up with good hair
10) Bad puns
11) Frozen lemonade
12) Funny essays
13) Meaningful touch/ eye contact.
14) The phrase "underwear anachronism"
15) Something dawning on you
16) This fecking weather.
:-)
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Arts Night List
Who Should Submit to Arts Night?
1) You
2) All your friends
3) ANYONE WITH A MINUTE AMOUNT OF TALENT IN ANY OF THE ARTS.
Okay, thanks, love Lisa
1) You
2) All your friends
3) ANYONE WITH A MINUTE AMOUNT OF TALENT IN ANY OF THE ARTS.
Okay, thanks, love Lisa
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Answers to Awkward Questions
It is St. Patrick's day.
Yes, yes it is.
It is St. Patrick's day, and apparently I am the only Irish person anyone at Queens College knows and can identify.
These are answers to questions I have received thus far today.
1) Are you Irish?
(No, I'm American)
2) Can you do a jig?
(Yes, I know how to. Will I? Absolutely not.)
3) Can you speak Gaelic?
(No. Can you?)
4) Does anyone in your family have red hair?
(Yes)
5) Does your mom make good corned beef?
(No, we have spinach pizza on St. Patrick's day.)
6) Have you been to Ireland?
(No.)
7) Do you have any family in Ireland?
(Probably, all we seem to be good at is breeding)
8) How many times have you seen Riverdance?
(Once, I liked Feet of Flames better)
9) About that jig....
(Feck off)
10) Do you speak with an accent?
(Only when I'm nervous)
11) What does that ring thingy mean?
(The claddagh? It means I'm not getting laid at the moment)
12) Why didn't you wear green?
(Because I don't want to encourage jackasses like you to ask me questions.)
Yes, yes it is.
It is St. Patrick's day, and apparently I am the only Irish person anyone at Queens College knows and can identify.
These are answers to questions I have received thus far today.
1) Are you Irish?
(No, I'm American)
2) Can you do a jig?
(Yes, I know how to. Will I? Absolutely not.)
3) Can you speak Gaelic?
(No. Can you?)
4) Does anyone in your family have red hair?
(Yes)
5) Does your mom make good corned beef?
(No, we have spinach pizza on St. Patrick's day.)
6) Have you been to Ireland?
(No.)
7) Do you have any family in Ireland?
(Probably, all we seem to be good at is breeding)
8) How many times have you seen Riverdance?
(Once, I liked Feet of Flames better)
9) About that jig....
(Feck off)
10) Do you speak with an accent?
(Only when I'm nervous)
11) What does that ring thingy mean?
(The claddagh? It means I'm not getting laid at the moment)
12) Why didn't you wear green?
(Because I don't want to encourage jackasses like you to ask me questions.)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Awful Porn Sites Based off of My Midterm Review for British Literature
*Women and Anglo-Saxons"
"Lanval and the Disappearing Foxxy Lady"
"Grendel and HIS MOM"
"The Big, Muscular, Strapping Green Knight"
"Gawain's Discount House of Green Belts"
"The Wife's Lament" (obviously S & M)
"The Skwanderer"
"The Rimming of the Ancient Mariner"
"The Taint"
"Unferth's Broad Sword"
"The Wife in Bath's Tail"
"Lanval and the Disappearing Foxxy Lady"
"Grendel and HIS MOM"
"The Big, Muscular, Strapping Green Knight"
"Gawain's Discount House of Green Belts"
"The Wife's Lament" (obviously S & M)
"The Skwanderer"
"The Rimming of the Ancient Mariner"
"The Taint"
"Unferth's Broad Sword"
"The Wife in Bath's Tail"
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Why the Academic Blog Kills Me
The lovely, wonderful English department here in scenic Flushing has something of a hard on for academic blogs, the idea of community forum and subsequently open (virtual) conversation. Unfortunately, this means classmates are expected to respond to each other's ideas. While I hide it very well in person to person interaction, I'm more than a little bit of a bitch and a literary snob. As such, these are comments which I (almost) posted in response to ideas about our class readings.
1) That's a great reading! It's also a horribly wrong reading that you can't possibly support, but great all the same!
2) While I'm really impressed that you know of the word "juxtaposition", it has no context here. Please stop trying to impress the professor
3) I only have one suggestion: next time, you should probably try reading BEFORE you post.
4) I once held a similar opinion regarding poetry. Did you know the tooth fairy is also not real?
5) What the fuck are you smoking?
6) Regarding comment 5: Can I have some? Please?
7) You are the sole reason for American illiteracy.
8) I'd like you to dig deeper into that trite symbolic reading while I slit my wrist. Kay?
1) That's a great reading! It's also a horribly wrong reading that you can't possibly support, but great all the same!
2) While I'm really impressed that you know of the word "juxtaposition", it has no context here. Please stop trying to impress the professor
3) I only have one suggestion: next time, you should probably try reading BEFORE you post.
4) I once held a similar opinion regarding poetry. Did you know the tooth fairy is also not real?
5) What the fuck are you smoking?
6) Regarding comment 5: Can I have some? Please?
7) You are the sole reason for American illiteracy.
8) I'd like you to dig deeper into that trite symbolic reading while I slit my wrist. Kay?
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Things that I say I'll do on the Snow Day, but won't
1. Homework
2. Go to the Gym
3. Read
4. Finally watch an episode of the Jersey Shore
5. Clean
6. Write
7. Really, anything productive.
Things I didn't intend to do, but did this Snow Day
1. Threw up
2. Watched "Up"
2. Go to the Gym
3. Read
4. Finally watch an episode of the Jersey Shore
5. Clean
6. Write
7. Really, anything productive.
Things I didn't intend to do, but did this Snow Day
1. Threw up
2. Watched "Up"
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Ground Breaking Story
The following is an example of what happens when a bunch of smart people (and Lisa) are put in a room without any challenges.
Once upon a time, an octopus laughed at the Little Mermaid. But she died. While a certain nemesis of the little maid planned evilly in their layer, the little mermaid was made into sushi and vowed to poison every single crytozoologist. A little girl ate the sushi and got salmonella. Suddenly a boy named Harry Gipotter came along and blew up the world as though he were superman, but then he got depowered and had to rely on shivs to get by, because he was fighting muggers in the Hudson River who started to get technologically advanced and used shakers for hunting narwhals. Along came a passive aggressive transvestite who wanted to change the South Bronx by taking his magical toilet hat into the heart of the rainbow for Captain Planet to make skittles that will cure the victims of the poison sushi. However, the victims of the poison sushi were not poisoned. It was later realized the poison sushi was a cure for cancer. In the meantime, a fat cow wearing a fedora began to go jogging and noticed his feet had stopped touching the ground! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he was another victim of surprise hovercrafting. However, hovercrafting turned out to be a temporary phenomenon, and afflicted cows soon fell into conveniently placed cauldrons for consumption. Then the squirrels began to sing "the song that never ends". Only to have their singing cut off by more conveniently placed cauldrons. But, let's face it, squirrels ain't tasty. Unless you live in squirrel eater land, in which case, yummy yummy in my tummy. Yet, the squirrels soon became more intelligent and made war with the cows against the squirrel and cow eating humans. Soon the carnivorous cows lost the war, with land eating rodents, when the hybrid grass started chewing the cows. THE FUCK? Then Mama earth ate everything, ending the reign of hypochodria that had so blighted the good people of Djibouti. But then Mother Earth got bored and spat back the people and creatures she ate, who immediately set cauldrons in convenient places for squirrels and cows to jump back in. Suddenly a bunch of turtles came out of the water and all said "Amen". The turtles, after saying "Amen" went into the conveniently located cauldrons and died for consumption. "Rawr" yelled the contortionist. Just rawr! Stop invading my squirrel-cow stew!
Once upon a time, an octopus laughed at the Little Mermaid. But she died. While a certain nemesis of the little maid planned evilly in their layer, the little mermaid was made into sushi and vowed to poison every single crytozoologist. A little girl ate the sushi and got salmonella. Suddenly a boy named Harry Gipotter came along and blew up the world as though he were superman, but then he got depowered and had to rely on shivs to get by, because he was fighting muggers in the Hudson River who started to get technologically advanced and used shakers for hunting narwhals. Along came a passive aggressive transvestite who wanted to change the South Bronx by taking his magical toilet hat into the heart of the rainbow for Captain Planet to make skittles that will cure the victims of the poison sushi. However, the victims of the poison sushi were not poisoned. It was later realized the poison sushi was a cure for cancer. In the meantime, a fat cow wearing a fedora began to go jogging and noticed his feet had stopped touching the ground! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he was another victim of surprise hovercrafting. However, hovercrafting turned out to be a temporary phenomenon, and afflicted cows soon fell into conveniently placed cauldrons for consumption. Then the squirrels began to sing "the song that never ends". Only to have their singing cut off by more conveniently placed cauldrons. But, let's face it, squirrels ain't tasty. Unless you live in squirrel eater land, in which case, yummy yummy in my tummy. Yet, the squirrels soon became more intelligent and made war with the cows against the squirrel and cow eating humans. Soon the carnivorous cows lost the war, with land eating rodents, when the hybrid grass started chewing the cows. THE FUCK? Then Mama earth ate everything, ending the reign of hypochodria that had so blighted the good people of Djibouti. But then Mother Earth got bored and spat back the people and creatures she ate, who immediately set cauldrons in convenient places for squirrels and cows to jump back in. Suddenly a bunch of turtles came out of the water and all said "Amen". The turtles, after saying "Amen" went into the conveniently located cauldrons and died for consumption. "Rawr" yelled the contortionist. Just rawr! Stop invading my squirrel-cow stew!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
May I inquire after the number by which I might contact you?
We at Freudian Slip know dating is hard. Really, trust us, WE KNOW.
So, in always looking out for your best interests, we compiled a classy list of pick up lines you can use if you find yourself in a tea house sometime.
I like my men like I like my tea,
• Strong
• Dark
• Sweet
• Hot
• Bitter
• Green
• Able to burn my tongue
• With a little string attached to them
• Leaking onto my jeans
• To go
• Lukewarm
• With limited caloric content
• Not in my nose
• Probably not as good as its British counterpart
• Cheap
• Decaffeinated
• Not breathing.
• Good in bed
And of course
• In a plastic cup
So, in always looking out for your best interests, we compiled a classy list of pick up lines you can use if you find yourself in a tea house sometime.
I like my men like I like my tea,
• Strong
• Dark
• Sweet
• Hot
• Bitter
• Green
• Able to burn my tongue
• With a little string attached to them
• Leaking onto my jeans
• To go
• Lukewarm
• With limited caloric content
• Not in my nose
• Probably not as good as its British counterpart
• Cheap
• Decaffeinated
• Not breathing.
• Good in bed
And of course
• In a plastic cup
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
List 2- Electric Bugaloo
Movies I've Seen Thus Far in 2010, and My Thoughts On Them, Based on Several Factors.
1) Sherlock Holmes
A-Fecking-Mazing
(Okay, some people didn't like the whole "Matrix" thing, or the fact that the Watson/Holmes dynamic was a bit different from what goes on in the Doyle books, or that there was a pretty clear setup for a sequel. Jude Law was in very tight pants for two hours= I had no complaints.)
2) Up in the Air
Not bad. It was no "Burn After Reading", but not bad. The plot is different to a good extent, there's some hard core dramatic irony, the acting is good excepting Vera Whateverhernameis, and there are some funny bits. However, the ending is in and of itself a bit of an anticlimax. If you like George Clooney or cameos by that guy who plays Juno's dad, this would be a good movie to see.
That's it. What, you think I spend my whole life in a movie theatre? The year is 13 days old, people, and I've already seen a good 25% of all movies I saw last year in theaters.
Oh, and I rented Hamlet 2. DO NOT BOTHER. RENT SPONGEBOB OR SOMETHING MINDLESS OF THAT NATURE. IT WILL SERVE YOU BETTER.
1) Sherlock Holmes
A-Fecking-Mazing
(Okay, some people didn't like the whole "Matrix" thing, or the fact that the Watson/Holmes dynamic was a bit different from what goes on in the Doyle books, or that there was a pretty clear setup for a sequel. Jude Law was in very tight pants for two hours= I had no complaints.)
2) Up in the Air
Not bad. It was no "Burn After Reading", but not bad. The plot is different to a good extent, there's some hard core dramatic irony, the acting is good excepting Vera Whateverhernameis, and there are some funny bits. However, the ending is in and of itself a bit of an anticlimax. If you like George Clooney or cameos by that guy who plays Juno's dad, this would be a good movie to see.
That's it. What, you think I spend my whole life in a movie theatre? The year is 13 days old, people, and I've already seen a good 25% of all movies I saw last year in theaters.
Oh, and I rented Hamlet 2. DO NOT BOTHER. RENT SPONGEBOB OR SOMETHING MINDLESS OF THAT NATURE. IT WILL SERVE YOU BETTER.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
superidiomtuesday
I am really sorry about the lack of updates. I have been ill. Sinus infection. *shakes fist* COLBERT!!!! *shakes fist*
So here are all the idioms that went missing:
(10-01-12) In Queer Street: in a difficult situation especially because of lack of money. My cousin is in Queer Street, he can't afford to pay the rent. He's also too lazy to find a job, but that's a different matter entirely.
(10-01-11) Dirt cheap: extremely cheap. Dude, I found one of my textbooks for next semester on amazon.com dirt cheap!
(10-01-10) Have a bee in one's bonnet:to have an idea or a thought remain in one's mind; to have an obsession. I have a bee in my bonnet about going to London.
(10-01-09) pipe-dream: a wish or an idea which is impossible to achieve or carry out. (From the dreams/hallucinations induced by smoking opium). Our study abroad ain't some pipe-dream.
(10-01-08) Milk of human kindness:Natural kindness and sympathy shown to others. (From Shakespeare's Scottish Play). Dude, your girlfriend is such a beach, she's lacking the very milk of human kindness.
(10-01-07)Put that in your pipe and smoke it! :
See how you like that! It is final, and you have to live with it .
Listen, I don't love you anymore, kay? You are a horrible, cruel person, and the only reason I ever put up with you is for the sake of the fish, put that in your pipe and smoke it!
So here are all the idioms that went missing:
(10-01-12) In Queer Street: in a difficult situation especially because of lack of money. My cousin is in Queer Street, he can't afford to pay the rent. He's also too lazy to find a job, but that's a different matter entirely.
(10-01-11) Dirt cheap: extremely cheap. Dude, I found one of my textbooks for next semester on amazon.com dirt cheap!
(10-01-10) Have a bee in one's bonnet:to have an idea or a thought remain in one's mind; to have an obsession. I have a bee in my bonnet about going to London.
(10-01-09) pipe-dream: a wish or an idea which is impossible to achieve or carry out. (From the dreams/hallucinations induced by smoking opium). Our study abroad ain't some pipe-dream.
(10-01-08) Milk of human kindness:Natural kindness and sympathy shown to others. (From Shakespeare's Scottish Play). Dude, your girlfriend is such a beach, she's lacking the very milk of human kindness.
(10-01-07)Put that in your pipe and smoke it! :
See how you like that! It is final, and you have to live with it .
Listen, I don't love you anymore, kay? You are a horrible, cruel person, and the only reason I ever put up with you is for the sake of the fish, put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wednesday List- 2010 style
Please be impressed with exorbitant amount of effort put into this list, courtesy of the "Freudian Slip Films Executive Writer's Meeting" on Monday.
LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE PROBABLY HIPSTERS
1. You.
1'. Probably me and Natalia as well.
2. Everyone else.
Idiom of the day:
Give something a lick and a promise: to do something poorly-quickly and carelessly.
John, remember to actually comb your hair this time; don't just give it the usual lick and a promise.
LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE PROBABLY HIPSTERS
1. You.
1'. Probably me and Natalia as well.
2. Everyone else.
Idiom of the day:
Give something a lick and a promise: to do something poorly-quickly and carelessly.
John, remember to actually comb your hair this time; don't just give it the usual lick and a promise.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
break one's duck
to have one's first success at something, especially after many many failures
Jim has finally gotten Mary to go out him, it seems he's finally broken his duck in the dating world. ;)
Please try to use this phrase in a sentence by tomorrow evening. Best of luck as it seems to be a very difficult phrase to slip into everyday conversation, especially when people have no clue what the heck you're talking about. Anyway, have a spectacular Tuesday, and expect a list tomorrow.
Consider this in the meantime:
Male zebras have white stripes, but female zebras have black stripes.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Jim has finally gotten Mary to go out him, it seems he's finally broken his duck in the dating world. ;)
Please try to use this phrase in a sentence by tomorrow evening. Best of luck as it seems to be a very difficult phrase to slip into everyday conversation, especially when people have no clue what the heck you're talking about. Anyway, have a spectacular Tuesday, and expect a list tomorrow.
Consider this in the meantime:
Male zebras have white stripes, but female zebras have black stripes.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Ringing in 2010
Hey everyone, we are fully back after a brief hiatus associated with finals and holidays. Today we had an executive writers' meeting, which went very well. One of my new years resolutions is to be more actively involved in FSF, meaning to actually get some of our ideas from idea stage to written stage to film stage, so expect more...if you see me slaking, please comment here, on twitter or on facebook.
One things we would like to start (in addition to the "It's Wednesday" lists) is The English Idiom game. It was inspired by something Demetri Martin mentioned on his comedy sketch: "If I". Mr. Martin played a game with his friends when he was in law school that he needed to use a particular word in an answer to a question whenever a teacher asked...words like "sassy" for example.
I received a wonderful book this holiday season: NTC's Super-Mini English Idioms Dictionary (An Up-to-Date Guide to the Idioms of British English.
We will pick an idiomatic expression every day, and you, my fellow Freudian Slip Film-ers, will be challenged to use the expression at some point in the course of the day. We will try to update these daily. In addition, I will try to give them to you the day before (ie, today you will be seeing tomorrow's expression). If you are able to use the expression, let us know, and you will get a point. When you reach a number of points (TBD) you will get a prize.
Today's idiomatic expression was: play cat and mouse (with someone) to capture and release someone over and over; to treat a person in one's control in such a way that the person does not know what is going to happen next.
example: David has been playing cat and mouse with Laura, and she's getting so sick of it that she just might break up with him.
Tomorrow (January 5th) the idiomatic expression is a choice of three expressions of similar meaning: (as) happy as a sandboy/ (as) happy as Larry; (as) happy as the day is long meaning very happy; carefree
Example: Mary's as happy as a sandboy now that she is married. Peter is as happy as Larry in his new job. Mrs. Robinson has many friends and is as happy as the day is long.
One things we would like to start (in addition to the "It's Wednesday" lists) is The English Idiom game. It was inspired by something Demetri Martin mentioned on his comedy sketch: "If I". Mr. Martin played a game with his friends when he was in law school that he needed to use a particular word in an answer to a question whenever a teacher asked...words like "sassy" for example.
I received a wonderful book this holiday season: NTC's Super-Mini English Idioms Dictionary (An Up-to-Date Guide to the Idioms of British English.
We will pick an idiomatic expression every day, and you, my fellow Freudian Slip Film-ers, will be challenged to use the expression at some point in the course of the day. We will try to update these daily. In addition, I will try to give them to you the day before (ie, today you will be seeing tomorrow's expression). If you are able to use the expression, let us know, and you will get a point. When you reach a number of points (TBD) you will get a prize.
Today's idiomatic expression was: play cat and mouse (with someone) to capture and release someone over and over; to treat a person in one's control in such a way that the person does not know what is going to happen next.
example: David has been playing cat and mouse with Laura, and she's getting so sick of it that she just might break up with him.
Tomorrow (January 5th) the idiomatic expression is a choice of three expressions of similar meaning: (as) happy as a sandboy/ (as) happy as Larry; (as) happy as the day is long meaning very happy; carefree
Example: Mary's as happy as a sandboy now that she is married. Peter is as happy as Larry in his new job. Mrs. Robinson has many friends and is as happy as the day is long.
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