Answers to Awkward Questions

It is St. Patrick's day.
Yes, yes it is.
It is St. Patrick's day, and apparently I am the only Irish person anyone at Queens College knows and can identify.
These are answers to questions I have received thus far today.

1) Are you Irish?
(No, I'm American)
2) Can you do a jig?
(Yes, I know how to. Will I? Absolutely not.)
3) Can you speak Gaelic?
(No. Can you?)
4) Does anyone in your family have red hair?
(Yes)
5) Does your mom make good corned beef?
(No, we have spinach pizza on St. Patrick's day.)
6) Have you been to Ireland?
(No.)
7) Do you have any family in Ireland?
(Probably, all we seem to be good at is breeding)
8) How many times have you seen Riverdance?
(Once, I liked Feet of Flames better)
9) About that jig....
(Feck off)
10) Do you speak with an accent?
(Only when I'm nervous)
11) What does that ring thingy mean?
(The claddagh? It means I'm not getting laid at the moment)
12) Why didn't you wear green?
(Because I don't want to encourage jackasses like you to ask me questions.)