Ground Breaking Story

The following is an example of what happens when a bunch of smart people (and Lisa) are put in a room without any challenges.



Once upon a time, an octopus laughed at the Little Mermaid. But she died. While a certain nemesis of the little maid planned evilly in their layer, the little mermaid was made into sushi and vowed to poison every single crytozoologist. A little girl ate the sushi and got salmonella. Suddenly a boy named Harry Gipotter came along and blew up the world as though he were superman, but then he got depowered and had to rely on shivs to get by, because he was fighting muggers in the Hudson River who started to get technologically advanced and used shakers for hunting narwhals. Along came a passive aggressive transvestite who wanted to change the South Bronx by taking his magical toilet hat into the heart of the rainbow for Captain Planet to make skittles that will cure the victims of the poison sushi. However, the victims of the poison sushi were not poisoned. It was later realized the poison sushi was a cure for cancer. In the meantime, a fat cow wearing a fedora began to go jogging and noticed his feet had stopped touching the ground! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he was another victim of surprise hovercrafting. However, hovercrafting turned out to be a temporary phenomenon, and afflicted cows soon fell into conveniently placed cauldrons for consumption. Then the squirrels began to sing "the song that never ends". Only to have their singing cut off by more conveniently placed cauldrons. But, let's face it, squirrels ain't tasty. Unless you live in squirrel eater land, in which case, yummy yummy in my tummy. Yet, the squirrels soon became more intelligent and made war with the cows against the squirrel and cow eating humans. Soon the carnivorous cows lost the war, with land eating rodents, when the hybrid grass started chewing the cows. THE FUCK? Then Mama earth ate everything, ending the reign of hypochodria that had so blighted the good people of Djibouti. But then Mother Earth got bored and spat back the people and creatures she ate, who immediately set cauldrons in convenient places for squirrels and cows to jump back in. Suddenly a bunch of turtles came out of the water and all said "Amen". The turtles, after saying "Amen" went into the conveniently located cauldrons and died for consumption. "Rawr" yelled the contortionist. Just rawr! Stop invading my squirrel-cow stew!