The First "It's Wednesday" List

In an effort to generate insanity on all levels and at all times, I herein vow that there will be a ridiculous list in effect every week, and unless I forget or contract scurvy, these lists will pop up on Wednesday. Some lists will be very short, some very detailed, but I/we will try my/our best to make it/them amusing. Please feel free to add your own to the list after it's been posted.
So without further ado..........

"Facts That Would Not Attract Someone To Me On eHarmony, However True They May Be"

LM-
1) Tries to get the suggested servings of fruits, vegetables, and potassium everyday.
2) Still believes she is a planeteer.
3) Finds adult incontinence extremely funny.
4) Has her closet organized in terms of both clothing type and ROYGBIV color coding.
5) Has never been to Boston in the fall.
6) Can recite from memory the entirety of Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"
7) Knows how to say "I am the pineapple" in French and Spanish.
8) Has a four-octave voice range, but generally does not use the lower 1 1/2 because she has gotten into the habit of sounding like Minnie Mouse on helium.
9) Thinks Axe smells atrocious.
10) Knows Irish Step Dance.
11) Wishes the Muppet Show was still on television.
12) Has not worn shorts in public since the 7th grade.
13) Does not wish to become a mime in the near future, especially not one dressed like a chicken.
14) Plans to one day know ALL the words to La Bamba, instead of just the first verse and the refrain.
15) Has never performed auto-surgery, but has claimed to several times.
16) Is a beast at "Uno", "Cranium", "Red Rover", and "Kitty Wants a Corner"
17) Has never seen "Superbad", please stop asking her.
18) Might lie to NY Blood Center and claim she has not been outside the US in the past year, because donating blood makes her feel like a slightly better human being.
19) Got upset when the stamp price went from $0.42 to $0.45, not because of the increase, but because she really likes the number 42.
20) Will probably end up being a singing waitress.